I want next steps for how to have kids

If you’re like many couples, you may not have received an official diagnosis of infertility — or perhaps you’ve been told everything looks ‘normal’ — and yet you’ve been trying for months or even years with no success. Maybe you don’t even know what’s going on, but you kept expecting it to happen, and now you’re wondering what options to consider.

It’s normal in these moments for in vitro fertilization (IVF) to seem like the common-sense answer. It is, after all, the most commonly discussed approach. 

But before you go that route, we’d love to slow you down for a moment to consider not only how to have a baby, but how to treat the underlying causes of infertility, too.

First: Take stock of where you are.

Have you talked to your OB-GYN? Have you run basic hormonal panels, such as estrogen, progesterone, FSH, LH, and thyroid function (TSH, T3/T4)? Have you done more in-depth hormonal testing to track your cycle over the course of an entire month to see where things may be going awry? Have you or your partner had a semen analysis? Have you considered how your weight, nutrition, physical activity, and sleep may be influencing your current fertility? Have you had an ultrasound to look at your reproductive anatomy? These are important baseline tests, but they aren’t always enough to reach a diagnosis or craft a meaningful treatment plan. Within traditional fertility clinics, these tests are often treated as checkboxes on the way to IVF or IUI. 

If you’ve done some of these tests and have been told everything looked “normal,” but you’re still not conceiving, don’t immediately accept a dead-end diagnosis of unexplained infertility; nor should you necessarily continue to “just wait.” This is an opportunity to dig much deeper into you and your partner’s reproductive health. 

Second: Start tracking your cycle, the right way.

Your cycle is a vital sign of health. The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) went so far as to recognize it as a woman’s fifth vital sign in 2015, and yet most women haven’t been taught how to track it, understand it, or what to do with it. 

Proper cycle tracking — often recorded in detail on paper or through professional apps — includes a woman’s cervical mucus, basal body temperature, ovulation timing, cycle length, and symptom patterns. While this may seem basic, it is considered by many doctors to be a window into a woman’s health and one of the most important tools for assessing, diagnosing, and treating her infertility. 

When tracked consistently and read by a trained clinician, this data can reveal hormonal patterns that explain infertility, recurrent miscarriage, and irregular cycles — and help diagnose conditions such as endometriosis or PMOS years before many doctors would otherwise catch them. Paired with a careful assessment of exposure to endocrine-disrupting chemicals, sleep, stress, nutrition, and weight, it can paint a detailed picture that no single set of labs can.

To be clear: This does not mean apps like Flo, which are basic calendar tools that track past cycles to predict a future period. Instead, look into fertility awareness-based methods (FABMs) such as 

• Creighton Model FertilityCare System, 
• Fertility Education and Medical Management (FEMM), 
• ChartNeo (from NeoFertility), or
• SymptoPro Fertility Education. 

Each of the above approaches are designed for clinical diagnostic use. 

The key is learning to track your cycle with a certified instructor, not just downloading an app. You wouldn’t buy a piece of equipment and skip the manual so why would you take a less proactive approach with your own body?

Third: Find the right kind of provider.

This is one of the most important steps. While a reproductive endocrinology and infertility (REI) specialist at a fertility clinic may run basic tests, their care is oriented toward measures that bypass the body, such as artificial insemination and IVF. They are not trained primarily to diagnose and treat the root causes of infertility–which may be why up to 30% of couples receive an ‘unexplained infertility’ diagnosis before being moved toward IVF. 

While IVF may succeed in creating a human embryo, it does not improve egg or sperm quality, decrease miscarriage rates, balance hormone levels, or optimize a woman’s body to support a pregnancy. By bypassing the body, IVF does not treat or heal the underlying causes of infertility. Instead, it relocates the creation of life outside the one flesh union of husband and wife and into the laboratory.

So, where should you start? We highly recommend seeking out a restorative reproductive medicine (RRM) doctor, specifically looking into medical specialties such as Natural Procreative Technology (NaProTech), Female Education and Medical Management (FEMM), and NeoFertility. 

NaProTechnology is the oldest, developed since the 1970s, with an emphasis on cycle charting and medical/surgical interventions. 

FEMM specializes in hormonal imbalances and cycle charting. 

And NeoFertility, which finds its origins in NaProTech, has a specific focus on autoimmune conditions. 

Each of these specialties addresses couples struggling with infertility or individuals with specific reproductive health problems they want to treat with or without pregnancy in mind. 

While an umbrella term, RRM refers to a scientific approach to reproductive medicine that seeks to cooperate with or restore the normal physiology and anatomy of the human reproductive system without the use of methods that are inherently suppressive, circumventive, or destructive to natural human functions. It begins with the understanding that infertility isn’t a standalone disease, such as a cancer tumor or heart disease, but a symptom of underlying conditions. Thus, to truly treat infertility, doctors must identify and treat what is causing the outcome of infertility in the first place. There is no one-size-fits-all solution for infertility, and treatment plans must reflect that. 

RRM treatments work to restore, not bypass, the body’s natural functions. They combine cycle tracking, targeted lab testing, lifestyle interventions, medical and hormonal therapies, and corrective surgeries to restore natural fertility for both men and women. 

It’s important to be clear here about what RRM is, and isn’t. For example, a Catholic OB-GYN is not the same as an RRM doctor. A nutritionist is not the same as a NaProTechnology physician. An integrative medicine doctor is not the same as a FEMM-trained clinician. All of these practitioners may be wonderful people doing genuinely good work. But they are not trained in the specific medical specialty that uses charted cycle data as a clinical diagnostic instrument to identify and treat the underlying causes of infertility or in the hormonal, medical, and/or surgical interventions that may be required to restore one’s fertility. They aren’t sufficient, in short, for root cause analysis and treatment of infertility. 

The best part? Success rates for RRM are comparable with or slightly higher than IVF outcomes. It’s not necessarily a question of treating the root causes or having a child. The answer may be one in the same. 

Your next steps:

• Connect with a charting instructor (no prior charted cycles needed before your first lesson)
• Find an RRM-trained clinician through Natural Womanhood’s provider directory, the IIRRM referral network, or the FertilityCare Centers of America. 
• Explore free foundational courses at RRM Academy.

You don’t have to choose between your faith and good medicine. These two things belong together, and there are providers who believe that too.